Lifestyle Including Surviving Family Members at a Reunion 11/13/2023 | By Amy Dickinson A classmate helping organize a 50th reunion wonders about the wisdom of having surviving family members at a reunion – is it creepy or compassionate? See what advice columnist Amy Dickinson says. Dear Amy: I am working with some of my high school classmates on our upcoming 50th reunion. We want to honor our classmates who have passed with a picture and obituary, and I have been helping to find those documents. One of our classmates died by suicide a few years after graduation, I believe as a result of postpartum depression. I was saddened to hear about this. Although I did not know her personally, she was a person I admired throughout high school. I located her obituary, and found that she left behind two young children. I searched to see if they still lived in the community, and I found her daughter on Facebook. I wondered if my classmate’s daughter would be interested in meeting some of her mother’s friends at our class reunion next year. If she is interested, it could be a healing moment to learn about her mother and hear how loved she was. At the same time, her daughter might have strong feelings of sadness or anger about her mother’s death. Should I contact her to invite her to our reunion? I’m happy to drop the idea if she is reluctant in any way. I’m wondering if my idea is compassionate – or creepy. Your opinion, please? – J Dear J: There is nothing creepy about including surviving family members at a reunion – or any other reunion celebration. You seem to believe that there might be more grief or anger regarding a classmate who died by suicide, but I submit that any premature death is a deeply felt loss, and you should shed any supposition of shame or embarrassment for these survivors. If it is at all possible, I think it would be a great idea to invite any local family members of classmates who have died (including elder surviving parents). In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers – ranging from surviving family members at a reunion, to being an adult abuse survivor, and rekindling old loves. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. © 2023 by Amy Dickinson Click here to read more Ask Amy columns curated for a baby boomer audience. Read More Amy Dickinson