Active Adult Communities Seniors Feeling Isolated 12/30/2024 | By R. Eric Thomas After moving to a new community and taking steps to fit in, this senior couple is still feeling isolated. Advice columnist Eric Thomas weighs in. Dear Eric: My husband and I are in our 70s and retired to a new community. We are engaged in church ministries and social groups that meet for dinner periodically. I volunteer and he is an avid golfer. My problem is not being able to turn new relationships into meaningful friendships. I have met many wonderful people but have a problem getting close with anyone. Any suggestions? – Feeling Isolated Dear Isolated: I know it doesn’t feel like it, but you’re not alone. Many adults struggle to make the deep connections they want, especially later in life or in new communities. I turned to my friend and friendship expert Anna Goldfarb, author of “Modern Friendship: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections.” Here’s what she advises: “One of the best strategies for deepening a friendship is to provide what researchers call social identity support, which is seeing your friends for all the roles they play in their life: their race, class, gender, and religion. This could look like asking to try their favorite dishes they grew up eating, including them in your cultural traditions, and signaling that you’d like to be a part of theirs, too. Another strategy is to recruit an accountability buddy. Identify a meaningful goal you both want to achieve – moving your body more, learning how to knit, watching every Matt Damon movie in chronological order – whatever floats your boat. Your friendship will deepen as you cheer on one another because you’re more invested in your successes.” Goldfarb told me, and I agree, that you’re off to a great start. So, you should congratulate yourself on making the effort and for continuing to try. It’s not always easy or as straightforward as we’d like, but you’re on the right path. R. Eric Thomas (he/him) is a national bestselling author, playwright, and screenwriter. His accomplishments include “Eric Reads the News,” a daily humor column covering pop culture and politics, serving as the interim Prudie for the advice column “Dear Prudence,” and author of “Congratulations, The Best Is Over!” Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at eric@askingeric.com or P.O. Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Follow him on Instagram and sign up for his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com. Find more guidance in the Boomer Advice for Life department and more wisdom in Seniors Guide like feeling isolated, dealing with anticipatory grief, and a widowed songwriter’s experience. Read More R. Eric Thomas