Lifestyle Is Divorce the Answer for This 69-Year-Old? 12/11/2023 | By Amy Dickinson After years of a difficult marriage, this 69-year-old woman feels her husband may have dealt the final blow. Is divorce the answer? See how advice columnist Amy Dickinson responds. Dear Amy: My husband let me know that he and our two daughters will be traveling 2,000 miles to celebrate his brother’s 70th birthday, which is two days before my 70th birthday. I am so angry and disappointed that he would do this. His brother and wife have never visited us in our home state. This was all done behind my back, and then after I learned about it, I was told that we would celebrate my birthday sometime in the following month. We’ve had many problems in our marriage, but this feels like the last straw. But I can’t seem to move on. Any ideas on how to move on and get over my anger? – Had It Dear Had It: One way to move on would be to actually move on. Given the way you have described this (topping off a troubled marriage, your husband plans a secret trip with your daughters to celebrate his brother’s landmark birthday, while deliberately ignoring yours), I think you should use their time away to contact a lawyer and educate yourself about your financial prospects, as well as the personal and emotional consequences of you leaving the marriage. Truth be told, it seems that your husband has already at least partially left. Is divorce the answer? After doing this research, you may decide to stay, at least for now, but it will be your choice. You can use the anger you feel to spur you to action. Being armed with real information and an actual choice could empower you to feel more in control of your own life, and your anger should dissipate. (It may morph into other very challenging emotions.) If you do decide to stay, a therapist could help you to move through the emotional fallout from this “last straw.” In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers – ranging from marriage struggles, wondering if divorce is the answer, to stressful Christmas visits and a granddaughter’s TikTok postings. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. © 2023 by Amy Dickinson Click here to read more Ask Amy columns curated for a baby boomer audience. Read More Amy Dickinson