Lifestyle Heartfelt Tips on Spiritual Aging 11/20/2024 | By Carol Orsborn Aging isn’t just about getting older – it’s a life stage filled with opportunities and insights for spiritual growth and self-compassion, says Carol Orsborn, Ph.D. in “Spiritual Aging: Weekly Reflections For Embracing Life.” Her honest book takes a look at later life, reminding us that aging can be filled with purpose and meaning. Even with all the time and energy you’ve invested in your psychological and spiritual growth over the many decades of your life, do you still dread aging? For starters, the cornerstones of spiritual aging, while seemingly simple, can be daunting, indeed. Here are the four foundational principles. One: accepting reality for what it is. Two: loving yourself no matter what. Three: Trusting in a power greater than yourself and Four: That it’s going to be okay. Much of your spiritual practice has already been about addressing these seminal themes and spoiler alert: this will not be the last time you’ll be revisiting these concepts over the course of your life. The reason we keep circling back is because there’s a pretty good chance that when you read the truth about what acceptance entails, just for starters, you have a few qualifiers: your personal exceptions. You may like the idea of acceptance theoretically and would happily apply it across the board, except that you don’t have the financial stability that others have so these principles may work for others but they won’t work for you. Or you have physical challenges or feel all alone in the world or are forced to shoulder more responsibilities than you think is fair. What you don’t understand when you think this way is that everybody has something they could use to explain why spiritual aging isn’t going to work for them. But this is exactly what spiritual aging is calling for: that you do the heart-breaking, gut grinding work of accepting reality as it is. All of it. Yes, even that. And then, while you are doing the hard work of accepting external reality, you can do the internal work of accepting everything about yourself, as well: all of your foibles, eccentricities, errors of judgment, backsliding, second-guessing. No exceptions. Period. Spiritual aging is the finishing school for our souls, where stretching to face reality head on will inexorably lead you to the darkest corners of your psyche, the places you have longest avoided, denied, excused, explained away. Here at last is what spiritual aging not only asks of you, but gives you. Spiritual aging, asks us to love life and ourselves without conditions, and in its place gives us freedom. Our circumstances may not be free. We may still feel bounded by financial limitations, physical restrictions, sadness over broken relationships, the state of the world and all the ways we wish things had somehow worked out differently. But we do not let even these things prevent us from what we have always yearned for most: to know that we are beloved unconditionally. If you didn’t have any conditions, how could you ever come to learn this? In the act of accepting your conditions, you are freed from interacting with the Divine transactionally, to understand that no matter what it is you have going on with you, you are valued exactly as you are, and that your life matters. “Amor Fati,” wrote Nietzsche. Despite living precariously on the sharp edge of life and death, he was inspired to speak the very words we need to keep close by at all times to remind us that there are no exceptions for those who aspire to age spiritually: “Love your fate.” Aging isn’t easy: coming to terms with your losses, limitations, character flaws and regrets. None of these things are easy. And taking a leap of faith can prove even more daunting. But for those who have the faith and the persistence, neither does any of this preclude you from making aging a culmination rather than a tragedy. If you don’t already know this, if you think you are the one exception to spiritual aging’s promise, there is only one recourse. Live deeper, old friend. Amor Fati. Spiritual aging questions to ponder Spiritual aging asks us to love life and ourselves without conditions, and in its place gives us freedom. Our circumstances may not be free. We may still feel bounded by financial limitations, physical restrictions, sadness over broken relationships, the state of the world and all the ways we wish things had somehow worked out differently. But we do not let even these things prevent us from what we have always yearned for most: to know that we are beloved unconditionally. In what ways is spiritual aging a finishing school for our souls? Why is it that so many people have put in years of spiritual practice and still dread aging? What are the four foundational principles of spiritual aging? What kinds of reasons do people tend to use to explain why spiritual aging doesn’t apply to them? What does it mean to be loved unconditionally? How can you know that you are? How can aging be a culmination rather than a tragedy? Carol Orsborn, Ph.D., is a leader in the conscious aging movement and editor-in-chief of “Fierce with Age: The Digest of Boomer Wisdom, Inspiration, and Spirituality.” The author of more than 35 books, including “The Spirituality of Age” with Robert Weber, Ph.D. and “Older, Wiser, Fiercer,” as well as popular blogs on Huffington Post and BeliefNet.com, she has served on the faculties of Georgetown University, Loyola Marymount University, and Pepperdine University. She lives with her husband in Madison, Tennessee, and Toronto, Ontario. Learn more at CarolOrsborn.com. Related: Does Aging Necessarily Change Us? Read More Carol Orsborn