The relationship of the Golden Girls roommates has gone south, as one often criticizes the other in front of children, friends, and clients. “Is this a sign of senility, or is she being a bully?” the reader asks. See what Ask Amy has to say.
Dear Amy:
I have been friends with “Charlotte” for 35 years.
Nine years ago, because we were both widowed, we agreed to rent an apartment together.
At first being roommates was wonderful; however, slowly but surely she began to criticize and correct me, especially in front of my children and friends.
I have repeatedly told her how this makes me feel, but then she says I’m being a child and overreacting.
How do I get her to stop? This has affected our friendship to the point where I can’t stand being around her in social settings.
She has even done this in front of my clients. We both work in the same office at the beginning of the tax season. Then in January, I move to another office location, which is a relief.
Is this a sign of senility, or is she being a bully?
Fed Up with the Golden Girls
Dear Fed Up:
This behavior could be a sign of senility, certainly if you have asked “Charlotte” not to belittle and correct you and she continues to do so.
However, aside from telling her how this makes you feel, you don’t report actually asking her to stop doing it.
It might be time for you two to have a serious heart-to-heart.
I’m talking about a meeting around the kitchen table where you review your roommates living arrangement to see if it is still viable.
Charlotte’s ongoing critique of you might indicate that she has grown unhappy with being together as roommates. You are obviously unhappy.
If you decide to continue as roommates, you should tell Charlotte that moving forward you expect her not to criticize you in front of others, and if she persists you will remind her publicly to stop.
In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers – ranging from Golden Girl roommates to grandparenting to DNA surprises. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.
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