Lifestyle Grandma Dreads the Christmas Visit 12/4/2023 | By Amy Dickinson A sad grandmom dreads the Christmas visit with her daughter and spoiled grandchild. See what Amy Dickinson advises for this stressful 10-day holiday happening. Dear Amy: My daughter and granddaughter are coming to spend 10 days with us over the Christmas holidays. I am dreading the visit because my 3-year-old granddaughter is unable to be around others without being the center of attention! If adults try to have a conversation she interrupts continuously, and if she has nothing to actually say, she just makes loud noises. It is beyond irritating. I try not to interfere with my daughter’s parenting, but I’m not sure how to survive 10 days of this, when even brief phone calls with the two of them make me crazy. Any advice? – Sad Grandma Dear Sad: It is extremely common for 3-year-old children to want to dominate their primary parent’s attention. Children learn not to do this through a combination of repeated reminders and distractions: “The adults are speaking to each other. You are interrupting. If you have something to say, you need to wait your turn.” You can also ask a 3-year-old to do a “job” for you, folding dish cloths or towels on the floor, sorting wooden spoons into different boxes, stacking blocks, or putting their favorite toy “to bed” in a shoebox. Ten days is a long visit; the holidays are highly charged and exhausting for children and their parents, and you should count on having your daughter’s full attention only during your granddaughter’s afternoon nap time and after she is asleep at night. You would not dread this visit so much if you reframed your orientation: This will not be a mother-daughter visit between you and your daughter, but a Christmastime visit with your granddaughter. I hope you will find ways to bond with this little girl that will make this visit memorable for both of you. Gentle corrections, reminders, and activities will help the child. Relaxing your expectations will help you. In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers – ranging from stressful a Christmas visit to a granddaughter’s TikTok postings and aging in place decisions. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. © 2023 by Amy Dickinson Click here to read more Ask Amy columns curated for a baby boomer audience. Read More Amy Dickinson