A couple is concerned about an overly forgetful friend and asks Amy Dickinson for advice. See what she says.
Dear Amy:
My husband and I are in our 70s. We and most of our friends are a little forgetful.
However, we have one friend who will ask the same question several times during a conversation. For example, the friend will ask about the health of a mutual friend, and then two minutes later might ask basically the same question again.
This is just one example of many during a conversation.
My question is this: Should we just smile and repeat our answer, or should we tell our friend we are worried because they seem to be getting very forgetful.
Is there another solution?
– E
Dear E:
If your friend has a partner or family member nearby, you should reach out and report your concern. A person with an intimate tie to your friend should accompany them for a checkup and assessment.
In the moment, you should deal with repeated questions by marshaling your patience and answering the question again. Nudging the person by stating, “You’ve already asked that; don’t you remember?” could bring on further confusion.
In the tradition of the great personal advice columnists, Chicago Tribune’s Amy Dickinson is a plainspoken straight shooter who relates to readers of all ages. She answers personal questions by addressing issues from both her head and her heart. A solid reporter, Dickinson researches her topics to provide readers with informed opinions and answers – ranging from a forgetful friend, to family gatherings and wondering if divorce is the answer. Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068.
© 2023 by Amy Dickinson
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