Aging In Place Co-existing in Multigenerational Neighborhoods 9/19/2023 | By Kari Smith Older adults who choose to age in place often find themselves in multigenerational neighborhoods, communities with people of all ages. As Seniors Guide writer Kari Smith explains, this lifestyle choice can offer opportunities as well as challenges. As a farm owner with a view of only my own property and a cornfield, I cannot imagine living in a neighborhood, seeing and hearing the daily activity of others. Conversely, I have had visitors tell me that they would be scared or feel isolated living in what feels like seclusion to them. We are all wired differently. Some enjoy the hustle, bustle, and noise of an active neighborhood while others enjoy quiet and privacy. Our tolerance levels, triggers, and boundaries also change as we age. If noise and activity bothers you – particularly the enthusiasm of energetic kids – living in an age-restricted community may be your ideal option. However, if you enjoy the squeals of school bus brakes and the shouts of hide-and-seek after school, a multigenerational community may be a great fit. Learn more about age-restricted active adult communities Multigenerational neighborhoods or communities (also known as intergenerational communities or age-friendly communities) are those that are open to residents of any age. Some became multigenerational as residents aged, with younger families moving in. Other new communities were designed for all ages, often offering age-qualified sections. If you’re considering moving into or out of a neighborhood filled with people of all ages, consider the benefits and challenges. Benefits of multigenerational communities: Older generations can be energized by a community’s youthful members. Older neighbors can share their wisdom and life experiences. Older residents may be able to offer relationships for young adults who do not live near their own parents or grandparents. Conversely, younger members may be able to provide a source of friendship for grandparents who are physically separated from their own children and grandchildren. Young adults or even older children can more easily help older residents with tasks such as grass cutting, snow removal, or any other quick household repairs such as lightbulb changes, dog walking, mail retrieval, etc. Some communities offer lifestyle programs that cater to different generations but also bring them together. Intentional multigenerational communities are often built with safety and mobility in mind, including features like lower curbs and accommodations for families with strollers or wheelchairs and walkers. Challenges of multigenerational neighborhoods: The energy level is inevitably higher in a neighborhood with young people. An older adult who prefers quiet needs to accept that people’s needs vary. Children can be expected to use loud “outdoor voices” and teens to turn up the volume on their music. While young people should be given space to be children, some kids will be more like Goofus of “Highlights” fame. When kids are truly misbehaving, other adults need to decide whether to ignore the behavior or look for an agreeable remedy. How to approach kids (or their parents) when they are doing something they shouldn’t. The world today is very different than it was when I was a child. With two children, one in elementary and the other in middle school, I often hear or see eyebrow-raising words or behavior from other kids. It is very difficult to hold my tongue in certain instances, but I have learned that sometimes, that is the best solution. Know when to keep your mouth shut. Although this may sound harsh, it is sometimes the best solution, especially in this age of aggression. Obviously, there are times when intervention is warranted, but choose your battles carefully. Ask questions. If you must say something to a misbehaving child or the parent, calmly ask a question instead of immediately throwing accusations. Even if it’s obvious that a child’s words or behavior are wrong, knowing the explanation may help you understand what is happening, which might shed new light on the situation. In addition, if you’re being calm, the child and parent are more likely to respond in a less defensive manner. Be patient and helpful when you can. You never know a child’s situation. They may be in a difficult domestic situation. They may not have been taught better. It helps to remember that none of these are excuses for bad behavior, but they may be reasons why the child is behaving as they are. Ignore the situation. If the problem is, for example, loud music outside of your house, you could choose to put on noise-canceling headphones or run an errand. If the problem is sporadic or temporary, do your best to have some patience and grace. Differentiate between “kids being kids” – i.e., energetic and noisy, shedding energy after a day sitting still at school – or a child truly misbehaving. Building positive relationships with neighbors can transform problems into positives. It can keep issues from arising in the first place, as younger neighbors become more aware of the needs of their elders. Remember this. Being a “glass half full” kind of person is highly valued in many situations, but especially when you face challenges or are forced to make adjustments. The benefits of multigenerational neighborhoods often outweigh the challenges, if you give them the chance! Read More Kari Smith Kari Smith is a frequent contributor to Seniors Guide, helping to keep those in the senior industry informed and up-to-date. She's a Virginia native whose love of writing began as a songwriter recording her own music. In addition to teaching music and performing in the Richmond area, Kari also enjoys riding horses and farming.