Seniors Guide president Katharine Ross addresses the topic of grief, an unavoidable part of life but one we can learn to navigate. Understanding how people grieve can support grieving individuals and help make life a bit more manageable.
Understanding grief
Grief is an adjustment to loss. That loss can arise from various sources in addition to the loss of a loved one. A job loss, a divorce or a move into a retirement community can trigger feelings similar to grief as a person feels the loss of their known routine and the loss of consistent companionship from a circle of colleagues, friends, neighbors and/or family. Naming grief and understanding how it affects you can help you find steadier footing during such challenging times.
Grief is disorienting. It causes something I call “the fog” or the “snow globe” effect. Everything around you may feel a bit more distant. You may feel uncertain in your footing with routine interactions. You may feel sensitive or chaotic from the emotional tides that come with grieving – regret, sadness, anger, etc. This is all normal. You’ve been hit from left field with something that you weren’t ready for and it has changed your world. Showing yourself grace will go a long way to helping you find steadier ground.
Labeling grief and adjusting to loss
The first step in showing yourself grace is to identify exactly how grief is affecting you. Challenges can show up along the lines of insomnia, changes in appetite, a short temper, fatigue, distraction, sensitivity to routine interactions, a mind that keeps crawling over memories, etc. The types of emotional hurdles are countless and unique. In a wave of grief, take time to identify exactly how you are affected. As you spend time with loved ones who are also grieving, take note of how they are affected. Each person grieves differently.
Related:
Coping with the loss of a spouse
Managing grief during the holidays
How to support a grieving parent
The first year tends to bring the most intense and destabilizing waves. Over time, the waves will be less disorienting, less intense and less frequent as your heart and head adjust to your new normal. That being said, grieving doesn’t come with a finish line. However, labeling the emotions and the challenges your grief uniquely brings you will help you navigate these waves with stronger footing. It will help you in adjusting to loss.