Senior Dating from an Unexpected Perspective

Anyway, that’s just a clever way for me, a married man, to lead into an article on senior dating. Truth is, I am oh so thankful that I don’t have to worry about such things. I would imagine that if I found myself as a single older guy, I’d be somewhat frightened about reentering the dating scene.

Obviously, as one begins to qualify for senior discounts, many of the things that were important 30, 20, or even 10 years ago are not nearly as high on the list of needs and wants as they once were. However, one never gets so old that he or she doesn’t want love and companionship. I’ve heard plenty of folks around my age who speak about still getting that tingly feeling when they fall in love.

Aaron Ben-Zeev, Ph.D. observed in writing for Psychology Today, “Contrary to popular belief, older people are often happier and more romantically attached than their younger counterparts.”

What’s with senior dating and romance?

So, regardless of your age, romance is not necessarily a thing of the past. But this dating thing … isn’t it scarier than when you were in your 20s or 30s? According to many who’ve been there and done that, it’s actually not as scary. The reasons offered for that are actually pretty obvious, once you think about it.

Remember how important even trivial things were back then? Even a pimple, which always seemed to appear the afternoon before a big date, was considered a deal breaker. Today, finding a pimple on my face would be the last thing I’d get upset about. As we’ve aged, for the most part, we’ve become more sure of ourselves. We certainly know ourselves better. We know what’s important and what’s not. We’ve made all the courtship mistakes that one can make, and we hope that we’ve learned from them.

Another benefit to many who have matured is that our financial situation is better than when we were younger. We don’t have to worry about scrounging up 50 cents to put enough gas in the car to go on a date. And we probably don’t need to order a milkshake with two straws, not because it’s more romantic but because it’s more affordable.

And one more thing that’s changed … we have something to talk about. We have something now that we didn’t have then and that’s life’s experiences. Do you remember the awkward silence from those early first dates? Back to what I said at the outset, I’m sure that today, I’d still be dating myself even if I were dating someone else.

Modern lingo for all couples, not just senior dating

While many of the changes over the years may actually make dating more enjoyable and even less pressure filled, there are some things you should know. For instance, you may have noticed that there’s a whole new vocabulary that’s evolved over the past half century, especially since we’ve entered the era of social media. As an aid to navigating this new vocabulary, here are a few new dating slang terms that, according to Dictionary.com, (https://www.dictionary.com/e/dating-slang-terms/) that you should know:

• Soft Launching: The term sprang from the launching of a new website, but it has a similar meaning when it comes to dating someone new. Perhaps you’ve soft launched and didn’t even know you were doing it. For instance, have you ever dropped a subtle hint on Facebook or Twitter that you were in a new relationship? Perhaps you posted a meme or an emoji, or whatever the proper term is, of two glasses of wine. If so, you may have been soft launching.
• Roaching: This is a term you definitely don’t want to hear when it is applied to your new love interest. It comes from the fact that if you see one cockroach, there are probably many more hiding somewhere in the house. If you discover that the person you’re dating is hiding the fact that he is also seeing a half dozen other women, you’re the victim of roaching.
• Benching: This is somewhat similar to roaching. If your partner is keeping you on hold until he finds out if another relationship works out, you may have been benched.
• Breadcrumbing: This is the new, 21st-century way of saying that you’re leading someone on, or, perhaps someone is breadcrumbing you. Have you ever had an online relationship where the other person will chat occasionally, perhaps even flirt with you, but they never actually pursue a relationship? That’s breadcrumbing.

So, the bottom line is this. Senior dating can be wonderful. Falling in love can be even better than when you were younger. Do you remember the old song, “The Second Time Around”? Yes, love can be wonderful the second time around. Just as wonderful with both feet on the ground.

However, there are pitfalls. Modern technology hasn’t really changed who people truly are. But it has made it easier for ne’er do wells to employ their ne’er-do-well tactics. So, as the song suggests, keep both feet on the ground and face this brave new world with your head up, your eyes open and with positive anticipation for a fresh romance and rewarding relationship.